ISP Contract

1. My telecom company, is a schizophrenic mess,
   Subjecting the customer, to unmitigated stress,
   I've always paid up to date, and on time, but
   Their admin threatened, then cut off my line.

2. Accounts still bills me, as if everything's fine.
   Though I've paid up in full, I can't go on-line.
   So now I can't access, the bills that they send,
   How much I need to pay, I can't comprehend.

3. The collectors of debts later send me a letter,
   Admonishing me, that to pay-up, I had better.
   Not paid in time, though the fault is not mine,
   But pay I must, with heavy interest plus fine.

4. The only option, that the debt collectors offer,
   Is via their web site, my payments to proffer.
   But an Internet connection this would involve,
   So I have no means, my false debt to resolve.

5. They cut off my service as an ADSL subscriber,
   To connect me to the Internet over optical fibre.
   Pestering for me a more expensive plan to buy,
   The migration managed, by an imbecilic AI.

6. Because of the confusion that then did ensue,
   To rely on the Internet, I've learned not to do.
   No connection, for 11 weeks, I had to endure.
   So, a new service provider, I had to procure.

7. But a simple connection, is no longer sold,
   Only combos of multiple services, I'm told,
   Forced to buy many extras, I do not need,
   My pleas for simplicity, they will not heed.

8. All their extras are perfectly useless to me,
   Incompatible with all my devices, you see.
   But there's nothing I can do, except to pay,
   In this one-sided 'contract', I have no say.

9. The contract can be made by email alone,
   Displayed on the tiny screen of my phone.
   As a nebulous fuzz, which I cannot discern,
   Its details are impossible for me to learn.

10. I touch the PDF icon, to download the file, to
    Put on my computer, which takes me a while.
    But having touched the icon, I quickly find,
    Deems that the contract, I've already signed.

11. Should I analyse the JavaScript on their site?
    To see how they inveigled me into this plight?
    I 'reneged' on the contract. They didn't resist,
    So with my search for an ISP, I have to persist.

12. I tried the ISP who services my cellular phone.
    It has a physical shop, not far from my home.
    There I can deal with, an actual human being,
    And may sign up after, the contract seeing.

13. They installed my line, but I was shocked,
    All 65535 ports for listening were blocked.
    Almost 3 months of fighting, before I saw,
    A basic connection, as determined by law.

14. Even so, their TV streaming, I couldn't see,
    Seems I have the 'wrong kind' of smart TV.
    Thus, although I don't benefit in any way,
    For this service I effectively still must pay.

15. My phone too, seems to have its own mind,
    Deductions for various new services, I find.
    Services I don't want, and never requested.
    Unable to cancel: my phone stays infested.

16. They say I requested them: no uncertainty,
    Through a contract I signed 'inadvertently'.
    By grazing the screen the deal's complete,
    Like catching herpes from a lavatory seat.

17. For the hapless user there's no immunity,
    These corporates can pilfer with impunity.
    I see the futility of my moralistic polemic,
    Might is Right is the universal endemic.

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© 23 September, 04 November 2023 Robert John Morton